"Why didn't you tell me you are a 'dancer'?"

I have been preparing for this day since I started being heavily involved in the burlesque scene about 5 years ago. When I first started I waved my real legal name around as well as my stage name, but then when I started getting serious about it, I got a separate Facebook, Twitter, etc.

Fast forward to this morning. I was on my 3rd day of my brand new job, which was a nanny gig. Lovely family, awesome kid. Hours were amazing. Everything about it was pretty perfect.

Until today.

Around 10:45, I was playing with some Play Doh with the kid and we were having a great time doing so. Mom came downstairs (she works from home) and told me she had to talk to me. I said, okay go for it. She said to me,

"So, your background check just came back. Why didn't you tell me in your interview that you are... a dancer?"

She had a look on her face of mild disgust and a little bit of fear mixed in. I told her the truth:

"I keep my private life and my professional life as separated as humanly possible". I stood up to talk to her and the woman BACKED AWAY from me. She told me that me hiding this "changes everything", and she now had to call her husband to discuss whether they could keep me on. She went upstairs, and came back downstairs about 10 minutes later (maybe even less, it just felt like an eternity) and told me she was going to pay me for yesterday and today, and that she was so sorry it didn't work out. She really liked me. Liked. Past tense. And she hoped I understood, it was because I kept the secret from her, and because of a cultural difference. She ended everything by saying "Hopefully you can find a family with a more open mind."

I left the house. I had a good cry. An ugly cry. You know those cries, when boogers and tears are all over your face and in your hair, and your eyes get all puffy and gross. It lasted the ride home (15 minutes... it was even close to my home!), then I got home, and thought about all of this.

Yes. I am a "dancer". I'm a burlesque performer. I'm a stripper. A model. An alt. model. A cosplayer. What else can I name? But the fact is, my hobby (and/or sidejob) is still taboo. Also, what I do after I clock out at 6pm is my business as long as it will not hinder my being able to work or keeping the child safe.

I have a childcare resume that could be made of gold. I have excellent references. I have an extensive history working with any age level thrown at me (for lack of better words). I have a clean driving record, and a reliable vehicle. I have been working with kids since I was 14, doing babysitting jobs, nanny gigs, summer camp counseling jobs, etc. I am an incredibly capable worker... but the fact that I don a pair of tassels and some fringe is offensive.

Please, someone fill me in where this is "unsafe" for your child between the hours of 8:30am and 6pm? Am I rhinestoning a bra during arts and crafts time? No. Am I practicing my tassel twirls during dance time? Hell no. You know what I am doing? Keeping to the schedule that the employer gives me, doing everything in my power to keep the child (or children) safe, healthy, and happy. I mean please, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I only drink (socially) on the weekends, and for fuck's sake I'm usually in bed by 10:00 during the week just so I know I won't be all gross and exhausted the next day!

What do I spend the paycheck I am given on?
-Car bills
-Insurance bills
-Groceries
-Clothing
-Misc. fun stuff
-Rhinestones
-Costuming

Now, discriminant parent, what do you spend your money on? Everything except the rhinestones and costuming (unless you are buying rhinestones and costuming for YOUR extracurricular activities which I do not care to know about since it is none of my business what you do after I leave that house every evening).

Now when I cried at the loss of my job, I did not feel an ounce of shame for what I do. I never did. I still do not. I cried because hell, I just lost my main source of income after only THREE DAYS because someone has a closed mind about someone who is beyond capable (and happy) to take care of their first born. It hurt that only 2 hours before this same parent was warmly talking to me about colleges and weekend plans and etc and so on, but then was looking at me as if I were a disgusting creature. A creature dressed in pasties and a g string. Mind you I was wearing fluffy slipper socks, baggy carpenter pants and a huge sweatshirt complete with no makeup and a loose ponytail. Could not be more glamorous, obviously.


My last thought will be, I am not trying to "slam" this family. They are a wonderful, loving, welcoming family, and I have been mentally preparing myself for this for years, since I love working with kids, I can understand (to a point) the problem. But at the same time (as I said before) I'm not hurting anyone with what I do in my private life. It's just a shame that the employer lost someone so invested in a job, over something they could not get over. My other thought is: if that has been coming up on my background check for the last 5 years... no one else had a problem with it, why should you?

I'm going to finally close with a few clips that are from cartoons and/or family films that have pretty much opened the doors to what I do today....